Inspiration and insight can come in unexpected places. A perfect example are the 8 life lessons for men that I uncovered while on safari in East Africa. The Animal Kingdom can teach us much about our own humanity…
1. Don’t Judge a Book By it’s Cover
African elephants are very aggressive, unlike their Indian elephant counterparts. Our safari guide has seen some Indian people learn this the hard way…and end up in the hospital. Moral here is craziness can lurk under a facade of innocence…do with that what you will.
2. It’s tough being a bachelor
Impala alpha males are quite the misogynists. They live in communities of up to 20 females and their babies, asserting dominance over them all. They constantly battle against other males to maintain this role. The losers are called “bachelors” and live with each other, banished from the women. This is basically how my single friends and I operate when we go the the Bungalow. It’s cool impala bros, we feel your pain.
3. Be yourself everyone else is taken
Zebra’s stripe patterns are unique to themselves and themselves only, no two are exactly alike. It is a bold and individualistic life they live, and we should take there examples. Certainly, one of the most valuable of the 8 life lessons. A wise man I know once also pointed out how similar these majestic creatures are to the female sex (@ 1:06).
4. A nice compliment to a woman can go a long way
The giraffe is the national animal of Tanzania. Apparently, it is considered flattering to liken an African woman’s looks to that of a giraffe. Our tour guide instructed us on how to say “You look like a giraffe” in Swahili. Unfortunately, we did not employ this pickup line “in the wild.” I would be keen to here from any of you guys that have.
5. Be careful where you put your banana
Baboons will not hesitate to be cheeky and steal food from you. Our guide had seen multiple occasions food and even cameras being stolen by these little scoundrels. Apparently they’re not at all afraid of women, so you gentlemen should be careful with who you let hold your bananas.
6. Politicians are hated in all countries
Tanzania elected a new president last year to a six year term. Richard seemed to be a supportive of his progressive reforms, including requiring credit cards be used for national tourism so that payments can be tracked. However, not all the locals shared this position, and felt much more like how I feel towards the new president-elect of the United States. Well, at least there currently no wall planned for the Zambian border.
7. Venue rules are there for your safety, you should follow them
I was told by our safari guide that if I signed a waiver I could basically do whatever the f*** I wanted to. Swim across the hippo pond? Sure. Steal a baby baboon? Go ahead. Provoke a sleeping Lion? Why not. You do so at your own (liability released) risk.
8. If you have to ask the question, yes you are too old for it
When a male water buffalo becomes elderly, he is shunned away from the group as it is believed he can no longer provide security and contribute to the herd. This is kind of how I feel these days when younger friends or co-workers recommend a day drinking event like Santacon. Sorry, I can add no value to this gathering as I will probably want to get tacos and go home by 1pm…so you can go ahead and just stop the uber right now.